Brown Belt Project - The Seven Habits

[Marcus Cortez]

For my brown belt project, I have chosen a personal challenge in the area of personal management. Having an active and curious lifestyle, I am aware of challenges with managing my thoughts and managing my time, both of which are essential to pursuing my most important goals and lifetime desires. In order to provide a formal structure to my personal management goals, Sensei Oliver referred me to “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” a bestselling book by Stephen Covey, one of the early and very influential authors in the area of personal improvement. The book is separated into seven sections, one for each of the seven habits, each of which the author recommends spending a month to develop the practices and review the written material. I began working on the first habit, “Be Proactive,” in March, and I will be reading and then journaling on the second habit, “Begin with the End in Mind,” throughout the month of April, in preparation for my brown belt testing in May.

The first habit, “Be Proactive,” is based primarily on the concept that in between stimulus and response, I have a choice, in fact a tremendous freedom, to determine how I will chose to respond to a particular situation. The author cites the extreme example of Viktor Frankl, who was a Jewish prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp during the Second World War. Frankl brought a positive influence to fellow prisoners and to countless people after the war as a psychiatrist. Having been cast into the most dire and extreme of circumstances of slave labor and torture, he discovered profound freedom in his ability to choose how he would react to his captors and eventually realized that although they had more liberty, more options to choose from in their environment, he actually had a superior freedom in his ability to decide how each situation would affect him, the one last element that his captors could not take away. No matter what our internal programming or external situation, we all have an independent will and can write new programming for ourselves. This is the true meaning of being proactive: not merely taking initiative, but taking responsibility for our own lives.

The chapter gives four exercises to implement being proactive:

1. For a full day, listen my language and to the language of the people around me. How often do I use and hear reactive [rather than proactive] phrases such as “If only,” “I can’t,” or “I have to”?

Over the last several years I have been consciously working to improve this kind of internal dialogue, and while I am aware that I have taken great strides in this area, I am also mindful of the occasions each day where I use doubtful or belittling speech with myself. I can quite literally feel how my body reacts differently to different internal dialogue. While proactive language may not solve any particular issue on its own, such language significantly changes my outlook and the ability for my mind to develop solutions. It’s the difference between “I have no idea how to get this done so I really shouldn’t even bother” vs. “I have no idea how to get this done and I can’t wait to see what I come up with.” While both phrases acknowledge that I don’t have the answer, I think it’s easy to understand how the latter phrase is much more conducive to creative thought and proactive pursuit of my desired solution.

1. Identify an experience I might encounter in the near future where, based on past experience I would probably behave reactively. Review this situation in the context of my circle of influence. How could I respond proactively? Take several moments and create the experience vividly in my mind, picturing myself responding in a proactive manner. Remind myself of the gap between stimulus and response. Make a commitment to myself to exercise my freedom to choose.

 

The first thing that came to mind was how easily I become frustrated at work when my computer is running slow at work, especially when I have to meet an approaching deadline. I saw myself feeling the instant “boom!” of hot-tempered frustration as I anxiously wait for my computer to complete my request, knowing that such an operation would typically be completed instantly. Usually when I feel this frustration, by blood boils, my mind scrambles with multiple voices spouting angry and impatient phrases, and I can literally feel my body tighten as a wave of tension takes it over. I decided instead that once I felt the “boom!” come over me, I would acknowledge the feeling but be mindful that before I react to the “boom!” I have a moment to choose how I will react, and I have the ability to remain calm and focused. The very next day this very situation occurred at the end of my work day, and I had to quickly complete edits to a critical document before leaving the office to head to the dojo. As the computer slugglishly delayed some of my commands, I felt the “boom!” but remembered that if I allowed myself to succumb to the immediate frustration, I would not be able to think clearly enough to complete the assignment on time. So I focused my attention on relaxing my body and steering my internal dialogue to phrases like “I have no doubt that I will complete the assignment before I leave, and because I am calm and focused, I will complete the assignment to my highest standards.” By using this internal dialogue, I noticeably felt my body relaxed and centered, and unlike similar experiences in the past, I was able to keep my mind clear and effectively focus on my assignment under the pressure of a tight deadline.

1. Select a problem from my work or personal life that is frustrating to me. Determine whether it is a direct, indirect, or no control problem. Identify the first step I can take in my Circle of Influence to solve it and then take that step.

 

One problem in both my work and personal life has been procrastination and the undue stress it causes.  This is a direct problem based on my personal behavior. It starts with my internal dialogue to the extent of “I just really don’t want to do that task” and carries on to the foreseen outcome, in my imagination, of the task not being completed in any reasonably timely manner and no clear feeling of when the task would ever be completed.  I can address this problem with my “Circle of Influence” – the things I can do something about . In this case, I can use proactive internal dialogue to set the foundation, such as “well, this task isn’t my preference right now, but I know it will come easy once I start, and I can start right now.” My second tool is focusing on what I really want out of the situation, which is usually to have the task complete so I can move on to something else. When I focus on having the task already complete and how good that will feel - how mind will be freed from dwelling on the incomplete task - rather than focusing on the painfulness or tediousness of actually completing the task, I find myself excited and inspired to take on and complete the challenge.

 

1. Try the thirty-day test of proactivity. Be aware of the change in my Circle of influence.

While I have yet to internalize these techniques completely, when I do make focused effort to apply them, I am clearly aware of the empowering and inspiring difference that proactive thinking and behavior can make. As I focus on applying the techniques in particular instances, I am aware of how each effort is just a little bit easier than the previous. This is the learning curve that takes place as a new skill changes from conscious and focused effort to being internalized and part of my natural, subconscious thinking and behavior. As I continue to make focused efforts to think and act proactively, I am aware of how such traits become part of my second nature.