Sacramento Martial Arts and Karate
Hot buttons ...
Recently Sensei Oliver asked the Little Dragons to complete a worksheet about recognizing and controlling their anger. The sheet asked them to think about what pushes their "hot buttons" and what they could do to recognize, minimize and counter the negative feelings that arise when anger sets in. My daughter listed two items: her little sister tearing her homework and a little boy in her class calling her the wrong name on purpose. To an adult, these issues seem hardly insurmountable. Yet to a five or six year old they can be incredibly frustrating and hard to deal with.
As a parent, dealing with a child who is dealing with these issues can also be taxing. While we can see their problems as small and we can explain that their frustrations will fade quickly, the child doesn't have the experience to see these things. And this is where I can get frustrated myself and quickly become angry. It's so hard to explain something to someone, especially when you feel it's right in front of them. My daughter can seem so worldly, so experienced and so assured that surely she knows grade school concerns will quickly be a thing of the past. But I always have to remember, she's just a little kid and she's going through all of this for the first time. Everything is so important to her and there are no insignificant events. She doesn't have a broad scope of experience, she is easily influenced by peer pressure and she is vulnerable. And she looks up to me to help her through it all. I have to constantly remember to tailor my approach to meet her needs, and not expect her to be an adult and hear me like a peer.
To paraphrase a wise man, there are many medicines available to heal many types of sickness. The ultimate goal is to help the sick person by whatever is the most expedient means. One medicine won't cure all disease and one approach won't help all people. Especially five year olds : )
Chris
As a parent, dealing with a child who is dealing with these issues can also be taxing. While we can see their problems as small and we can explain that their frustrations will fade quickly, the child doesn't have the experience to see these things. And this is where I can get frustrated myself and quickly become angry. It's so hard to explain something to someone, especially when you feel it's right in front of them. My daughter can seem so worldly, so experienced and so assured that surely she knows grade school concerns will quickly be a thing of the past. But I always have to remember, she's just a little kid and she's going through all of this for the first time. Everything is so important to her and there are no insignificant events. She doesn't have a broad scope of experience, she is easily influenced by peer pressure and she is vulnerable. And she looks up to me to help her through it all. I have to constantly remember to tailor my approach to meet her needs, and not expect her to be an adult and hear me like a peer.
To paraphrase a wise man, there are many medicines available to heal many types of sickness. The ultimate goal is to help the sick person by whatever is the most expedient means. One medicine won't cure all disease and one approach won't help all people. Especially five year olds : )
Chris
Views: 10
Comment
-
Comment by Lisa Clark on April 20, 2010 at 8:51pm
-
Your post makes me think about how very much older generations have to teach us. For example, your present dilemmas may seem a bit trivial to Naomi's grandparents because they raised their own kids.
Its all very humbling.
© 2024 Created by Mike Oliver.
Powered by
You need to be a member of Zen Martial Arts Center to add comments!
Join Zen Martial Arts Center